


Carter

by crackdkettle



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, Peggy!Winter Soldier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-06
Updated: 2014-02-06
Packaged: 2018-01-11 10:42:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1172101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crackdkettle/pseuds/crackdkettle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An AU in which Peggy is the Winter Soldier, and she and Natasha have a remarkably uncomplicated relationship over the years.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Carter

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [these](http://bartonsnethers.tumblr.com/post/71468867057/winter-soldier-au-peggy-as-the-winter-soldier) [posts](http://stereowire.tumblr.com/post/74710103762/did-somebody-say-au-where-peggy-carter-is-the) on tumblr. Assumes the Winter Soldier ends up belonging to SHIELD. Written in an afternoon because I just had to get my feelings out.

Natasha is new to SHIELD the first time she meets the Winter Soldier. Later she realizes they were testing her: she was new and untrustworthy and disposable when she walked into the cell; when she walked out, she was indispensable.

The Winter Soldier is strapped to a table, angled upright. It’s clear immediately it’s just for show; the Winter Soldier could break free in an instant.

“I don’t have any compunctions about killing women,” she says, as the cell door slides shut behind Natasha.

“Neither do I,” says Natasha; the Winter Soldier’s lips twitch slightly. “What’s your name?”

“I don’t have a name,” says the Winter Soldier.

It’s the right answer, and Natasha should move on, but something in the Winter Soldier’s voice makes her say, “Everybody has a name. Even if it’s only in their heart. It’s what makes us human.”

The Winter Soldier’s eyes flicker to life for just a moment before going dead again.

“I’m not human,” she says. “Not anymore.”

“What’s your mission?” asks Natasha.

“To kill whomever I am ordered to kill.”

“Who do you work for?”

“I work for no one.”

“Then who gives your orders?”

The Winter Soldier begins to laugh. Natasha has witnessed (and caused) so many horrors that little frightens her anymore; but the Winter Soldier’s laugh chills her.

“Who gives _your_ orders, agent?” the Winter Soldier replies. The cell door opens, and two guards pull Natasha out, the Winter Soldier’s laughter following her down the corridor.

\-----

Natasha doesn’t see the Winter Soldier again for two years.

“I thought making sure the Winter Soldier still works was an assignment for recruits you didn’t trust,” she says, when she gets the call.

“She asked for you,” says Coulson. “She’s never asked for a specific agent before. Fury wants to know what’s special about you.”

This time, the Winter Soldier isn’t strapped down. Instead, she stands completely still in a cell, separated from Natasha by a wall of glass.

“I heard you missed me,” says Natasha.

“What’s your name?” says the Winter Soldier.

“Agent Romanoff,” says Natasha.

“No,” says the Winter Soldier. “What’s your name in your heart?”

Years of training make Natasha’s reaction barely noticeable, but the Winter Soldier has years of training too, and she smiles very slightly.

“What’s yours?” asks Natasha.

“I asked first.” The Winter Soldier’s expression is hard, but her eyes are so hungry that Natasha finds herself answering.

“Natalia.”

The Winter Soldier nods.

“I’ve been dreaming of you, Natalia,” says the Winter Soldier. “Does that frighten you?”

“I’m not easily frightened,” says Natasha.

The Winter Soldier smiles – a wide, grotesque smile that bares all her teeth.

“Neither am I,” she says.

An hour later, Natasha and the Winter Soldier are sent on a mission together.

\-----

The Winter Soldier is a flawless killing machine, a blend of perfect technique and human ingenuity that’s inspiring to witness.

“You didn’t need me,” says Natasha on the flight back to base. “You could have completed this mission alone.”

“Everyone needs someone sometimes, Natalia,” says the Winter Soldier. “It’s what makes us human.”

“You told me you weren’t human,” says Natasha.

“I am in my dreams,” says the Winter Soldier.

When they arrive at the base, the Winter Soldier is put back to sleep.

\-----

Over the next year, Natasha goes on seven missions with the Winter Soldier. She’s little more than a glorified pilot, rarely doing more than flying the Winter Soldier in and out.

“The Winter Soldier won’t complete any more assignments unless you go with her,” says Fury, when Natasha complains to him about this. “I don’t know what you did to her, Romanoff, but as long as she demands you, you will fly her jet with a smile on your face.”

“Smiling’s not in my job description,” says Natasha.

“It is now,” says Fury.

\-----

“You’ve never told me your name,” says Natasha on the seventh mission.

“Names are for humans,” says the Winter Soldier. She’s cleaning blood off her metal arm; there’s blood on her skin, too, but she isn’t bothering to clean that.

“What’s your name in your dreams?” asks Natasha. “You said you were human in those.”

“Do you remember everything I say to you, Natalia?” asks the Winter Soldier.

“You don’t say very much,” says Natasha. “It’s not difficult.”

For only the second time since they’ve met, the Winter Soldier gives Natasha a small but genuine smile.

“In my dreams they call me Carter,” she whispers.

“They?”

Carter shakes her head.

“I’m not sure,” she says. “I think … I think they’re the people I used to love. When I was human.”

“And now me,” says Natasha.

Carter smiles again, softer.

“Yes,” she says. “Now always you.”

Before they disembark, Carter takes Natasha’s face in her hands and kisses her very gently.

A few months later, they tell Natasha the Winter Soldier is dead.

\-----

“It’s Peggy!” Steve screams. “How the hell is it Peggy?!”

“I don’t know!” Natasha screams back.

She doesn’t. No one knows where the Winter Soldier came from, and as far as Natasha knows, she was killed five years ago.

It’s days before she finally comes face to face with the Winter Soldier.

“Carter,” she says, raising her hands. “Carter, it’s me.”

“Natalia,” says Carter. “Natalia, I don’t want to do this.”

“Then don’t,” says Natasha.

Carter shoots her in the shoulder. It’s so expert, inflicts so little damage, it feels almost like a caress.

\-----

Steve can’t be around Peggy for the first several weeks after her memories start coming back: her programming goes too deep.

Natasha is the one who helps her through the nightmares. She’s the only friend the Winter Soldier part of Peggy remembers. It’s good, in a way. It’s easier for Natasha than it would be for Steve.

Natasha is used to screams.

\-----

Months later, Natasha and Peggy are, impossibly, eating breakfast alone together, sitting side by side on the couch in the living room of Natasha’s floor of Avengers Tower. Clint’s on assignment, Thor’s in some desert with Foster and her team, Steve and Sam are testing Sam’s newest wings, Pepper’s already at work, and Stark and Banner are doing … whatever Stark and Banner do together (Natasha doesn’t really want to know).

“Natalia,” says Peggy suddenly.

Natasha looks up, startled; Peggy only calls her Natalia when she first wakes from a nightmare (which are becoming mercifully rarer).

“Thank you,” says Peggy.

“For what?” says Natasha.

“For reminding me all those years ago that I was still human,” says Peggy.

“Peggy,” Natasha begins, but Peggy puts her human hand on Natasha’s arm, shaking her head.

“In my dreams you still call me Carter,” she whispers.

Carter’s metal hand is cold against Natasha’s cheek as their lips press together for the first time in six years. Natasha finds she doesn’t really mind.


End file.
